Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
