K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
