Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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