I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
