Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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