I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
