Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
