I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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