he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
