I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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