is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
