i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize