My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
