I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
