the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
