i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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