i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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