do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
