He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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