his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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