maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize