you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
