When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize