i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i came on her dog
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
