i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
