we're making bets on your personal life
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
