We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
