I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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