Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
