Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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