I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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