it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
