Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
