i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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