Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
