was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
