Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
