His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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