KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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