I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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