Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize