Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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