at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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