I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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