I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
