Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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