Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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