im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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