i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
