Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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