The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
