I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
