No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
