yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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