So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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