forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize