Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
