fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
