school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I understand Curling. That high.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
