Whod you bang
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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