just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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