who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Drake has all the answers
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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