I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
