Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
