Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize