I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
