I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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