Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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